All posts by whoismaddy

chasing sunsets

The best days are often spent watching sunsets with friends. Holding their hands, kissing them, laughing with them so hard that you cry.

Today was a good day.

 

 

Maddy xxx

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currently listening

When I was in year seven/eight, I completely adored Kesha’s music. They were complete bops, and were perfect for singing along to with friends during the lunch break.

Since then, I’ve dealt with a lot of stuff that’s a bit similar to what she’s gone through and am finally starting to recover. This song looks at a lot of those themes and, oh my goodness, the end product is so incredible and empowering.

I love this song and I love her.

 

 

Maddy xxx

currently watching

Meet Christine Riccio.

She has been one of my favourite youtubers for ages.

For the past three years, at Vidcon, she has created a lip-synching MV for a popular song at the time.

Despite never having seen La La Land, nor really wanting to, this one is possibly my favourite.

 

 

Maddy xxx

booktalk: flipped

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Note: This book frequently uses the r-slur. It made me quite uncomfortable and I think the author could’ve used different language. This is the only fault I really have with the book.

Years, ago, I remember flipping to a channel with one of those daytime movies. The colours, lighting, and the voice of a young boy being auctioned off as a school fundraiser reminded me of a really cringey version of one of my favourite films, Now and Then. I kept flipping through the channels, and watched something else.

Years later, I watched this movie, at the recommendation of a girl I greatly admire. To put it simply, I flipped, and completely adored it.

Finally, just recently, I read Flipped by Wendelin van Draanen, a book from two perspectives – Bryce Loski and Juli Baker. It’s the story on which the movie was based. There’s not a huge plot, but it focuses on lots of little events that occur from when they first meet, at around the age of seven, until they’re in year eight. Each event is told twice, first from Bryce’s perspective, then from Juli’s. To sum it all up, Juli fell for Bryce as soon as she met him, and, in the years that passed, felt he was holding on to her “first kiss”.

The events in the story aren’t what sold me; sure, some are incredibly emotive, such as when Juli and her father meet up with his brother for his birthday, or the events within the Loski family that follow the dinner party.

Instead, it’s the characters, or, more specifically, character, and how the other characters interact with her. Juli Baker is everything I wish to be. She makes deep, meaning connections with the world and people around her, is enthusiastic about exploring and trying new things, and is just so passionate. There’s a quote from the book that I feel describes her so well.

“A painting is more than the sum of its parts,’ he would tell me, and then go on to explain how the cow by itself is just a cow, and the meadow by itself is just grass and flowers, and the sun peeking through the trees is just a beam of light, but put them all together and you’ve got magic.”

The story later goes on to say that it applies to people as well. Some people are more than the sum of their parts; those people are magic.

As expected, I liked the book more than the movie. Putting it simply, Bryce was a jerk for most of the story, so I appreciated how they became amicable at the end. You could sense that the characters would continue to grow and develop into friends. However, on Goodreads, I found many saying they didn’t like the ambiguity of the book’s ending, and preferred the movie (-sarcasm- spoiler alert: the protagonists kiss at the end). As I said before, Bryce Loski was a jerk for most of the time. By the end of the story, he was becoming a better person, but he still needed to grow, and I liked how the book allowed for that.

Flipped is mostly light-hearted, very endearing, and has changed me as a person. I hope that anyone who’s read it enjoys it as much as I do.

 

 

Maddy xxx

it’s not my fault – tw: rape, abuse

it’s not my fault.
not my fault.
my fault.
fault.

you should’ve gotten out of there. but i didn’t.
you should’ve just said no. but i didn’t.
you should’ve seen the signs. but i didn’t.

i’m not naive.
i’m not a slut.
i’m trying to learn that it’s his fault.

fault.
my fault.
not my fault.
it’s not my fault.

 

 

Maddy xxx

crafting epiphanies

Today, I spent hours making a rainbow paper chain to stick in my journal. It was a nice routine of colouring strips of paper, looping and then sticking them together. The sun was shining on me and, occasionally, my cat would purr and brush against me.

Just as I was taping the purple link to the rest of the chain, something occurred to me.

I was making a symbol for my life at the moment. I’m processing all my trauma. I’m trying to build a path that gets me past it all while acknowledging that it happened and my growth.

Classic me and my metaphorical bullshit, but it was a pretty cool feeling.

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Maddy xxx

vegan “pulled pork”

I think I should preface with the fact that I’ve never had pulled pork. I have, however, always been a fan of the Mary-Kate and Ashley movie “It Takes Two” and liked the look of the Sloppy Joes that Amanda ate. (Note: I just googled what a Sloppy Joe is and am disappointed that they look nowhere near as good as what I made.) I heard so much about making “pulled pork” with jackfruit, but I’ve never had a chance to find it, so I tried making it with some food I had at home.

To put it simply, it was fan-heckin-tastic!

You will need:

  • Half a carrot
  • 1 potato
  • Quarter of an onion
  • Salt
  • Ground black pepper
  • Spray oil

And for the sauce:

  • Barbecue sauce
  • Apple cider vinegar
  • Mexican chilli powder

First, preheat the oven to 200C
Grate the potato and carrot and dice the onion.
In a baking tray with parchment paper, spread out the vegetables, spray them with a bit of oil, then sprinkle on a bit of salt and pepper. Mix it through with your hands and spread it out on the tray.
Cover it with Alfoil then put it in the oven for 20-ish minutes, taking it out every 10 minutes to shake.
While that’s cooking, mix up the sauce in a saucepan. I eyeballed the barbecue sauce and Mexican chilli powder, and added a teaspoon of the vinegar.
Heat the sauce for about 10 minutes and stir consistently, then take off the heat.
When the vegetables are ready, put the sauce back on the heat and mix them through in the saucepan for about 10 minutes.
Once ready, serve it however you wish. I had it on a sandwich with lettuce.

Not the prettiest, but delicious.

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Maddy xxx

surprise sunshine

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This morning (20/6) was very dark and rainy. The type of rain that’s heavy and blows about in all directions. I hung the washing up undercover, yet much of the clothes still got soaked; the rain insisted on going everywhere.

But then, around the mid-afternoon, there was sun, dancing across my backyard. It was warm, and the rays soothed my weary mind and body. I painted the sun in my journal to document this feeling.

My cat had other ideas and wanted to rub her face against my paintbrush, nearly tipping over my water glass in the process. Then she decided to sit on it for a while, and let me photograph her.

My cat can go on to tell all her animal friends of how she sat on the sun.

 

 

Maddy xxx