Tag Archives: art

it’s not my fault – tw: rape, abuse

it’s not my fault.
not my fault.
my fault.
fault.

you should’ve gotten out of there. but i didn’t.
you should’ve just said no. but i didn’t.
you should’ve seen the signs. but i didn’t.

i’m not naive.
i’m not a slut.
i’m trying to learn that it’s his fault.

fault.
my fault.
not my fault.
it’s not my fault.

 

 

Maddy xxx

crafting epiphanies

Today, I spent hours making a rainbow paper chain to stick in my journal. It was a nice routine of colouring strips of paper, looping and then sticking them together. The sun was shining on me and, occasionally, my cat would purr and brush against me.

Just as I was taping the purple link to the rest of the chain, something occurred to me.

I was making a symbol for my life at the moment. I’m processing all my trauma. I’m trying to build a path that gets me past it all while acknowledging that it happened and my growth.

Classic me and my metaphorical bullshit, but it was a pretty cool feeling.

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Maddy xxx

surprise sunshine

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This morning (20/6) was very dark and rainy. The type of rain that’s heavy and blows about in all directions. I hung the washing up undercover, yet much of the clothes still got soaked; the rain insisted on going everywhere.

But then, around the mid-afternoon, there was sun, dancing across my backyard. It was warm, and the rays soothed my weary mind and body. I painted the sun in my journal to document this feeling.

My cat had other ideas and wanted to rub her face against my paintbrush, nearly tipping over my water glass in the process. Then she decided to sit on it for a while, and let me photograph her.

My cat can go on to tell all her animal friends of how she sat on the sun.

 

 

Maddy xxx

autumn favourites

Hello, everyone who may see this!

I didn’t forget about  this blog per say, but the world has been a bit hectic and, overtime, became less of a priority than it once was. However, I find that creativity and sharing ideas are hugely beneficial things for me, so I definitely don’t want to let this go. To ease back into this, I thought I’d do a favourites post for the past season.

  • Seeking professional help
    My brain has a history of not being the greatest, and this has ramped up lately due to lots of lovely past trauma and stuff. Autumn has been a lot of talking to counsellors, and just recently I applied for specialised treatment, so I’m heading in the right direction.
  • Watercolour painting
    There’s something so calming about it. I’ve taken to sitting in the sunshine with my cat and making rainbows and other splashes of colour. It kind of reminds me of the opening to the old Beatrix Potter show. (Here’s a link if you don’t know what I mean, or want to reminisce in its glory.)
  • Harry Potter and the Sacred Text
    This is a weekly podcast by Vanessa, Casper and Ariana, three Harvard students who have decide to treat the series as a sacred text (like the Bible, for example). Each episode unpacks a chapter through the lens of a particular theme, such as love, disappointment, loneliness, or friendship. Casper and Vanessa are the co-hosts, and I absolutely love how light-hearted and witty they are, but also how they’ve been so insightful and open with their genuine thoughts and feelings. It has definitely enhanced my love and appreciation for Harry Potter. (You can find out more and listen to the podcasts here.)
  • Libraries and bookshops
    My boyfriend and I are your typical poor uni students, so lately we’ve been spending dates at bookshops and libraries. I easily get overwhelmed and worked up in situations where there’s a lot of sensory input, so they’ve been perfect for us. We can read hilarious books, learn new things, look at recipe books for meal inspiration, and often there are small children toddling around, so we get to make new friends.
  • Printable calendars
    At my old house, I was allowed to stick things on my walls, so I had monthly and yearly calendars, to-do lists, and schedules everywhere. Sadly, I’ve had to limit myself to a pinboard, so I’ve often felt less organised. Recently, I discovered these gorgeous printable calendars from Shining Mom and they have helped a lot! I love the colour they add, and I feel much more in control now that I can see my plans for the month ahead.

 

 

Maddy xxx